Why It’s Worth Working On Yourself
I have found that working on myself has bought so many benefits to my life. It has made life easier and more peaceful, not only for me, but for the people around me.
Was it always easy, no definitely not. But I learnt so much about myself through the process. I learnt that I have so many stories running around in the background (subconscious) that I wasn’t even aware of that created so much resistance in my life. Most of these stories stopped me from taking action towards my desired goals and what I really wanted.
When I started this journey of self healing and exploration it was not something that I set out to do, it just sort of happened. I was in the middle of being triggered that I went ‘where is this coming from?’ and ‘why am I reacting in the way that I am?’ This isn’t the normal response for this type of conversation that I was in the middle of. When I started to delve into it, I realised there was this feeling of abandonment that I was experiencing and wondering where this was coming from that I had my first insight into the story that I was telling myself that everyone important leaves me – I had many instances in my life that proved this point so it seemed rational to say that it was true, even if actually wasn’t. Even though this situation was completely different from the past I was still running this story.
These stories come up to protect us from living through the same thing again. However it can protect us from so much more – it can stop us from making healthy connections/relationships, stop us from taking action towards our dreams. It can also make us bitter and resentful as well if we hold onto these stories we might say such things as no one loves me, why don’t they want to spend time with me (this was mine), no one hangs around long enough to get to know me, and everyone leaves me. This is just some of the ways that an abandonment wound can show up in our lives. It will depend on your past experiences as to how these stories run.
Letting the abandonment wound go (releasing it) in my relationship has allowed greater freedom and flexibility for myself and my husband. Now I allow him the freedom to spend time doing the things he enjoys and he does the same for me in return. We appreciate the time we do spend together. There is no longer this shadow that lingers in the background when he wants to do something without me. Having come into this awareness takes pressure off our relationship to provide me with a sense of security that isn’t its’ responsibility. I am the creator of my safety, not my relationship.
The abandonment wound is one of many that you may be running without even realising it, if you are not willing to dive into your triggers. Some of the other wounds that I have worked through are father wounds, mother wounds, witch wounds, slave wounds – you would be surprised to see how some of these have shown up in my life. There is so much wisdom in the stories that we tell ourselves. By creating awareness around them, they stop having power over us and we can move forward with having the life we dreamed of.
I am so much happier having done this inner work, and continuing to do this work when it shows up – this is not a one and done thing. The abandonment wound will show up in other ways, but having a process that moves me through the trigger allows me to become neutral to the trigger and analyse what wisdom I can draw from it, in order to move forward with greater ease. I can honestly say that it has been worth the deep diving into my triggers and I wouldn’t go back to the way I was living before finding how to process them with ease. I am so much kinder and more compassionate towards myself and others when I view the world through the lens of the stories that we are telling ourselves.
Dive Deeper:
What stories do you hold onto or tell yourself that diminish your potential to have greater peace and joy in your own life?
What stories are you willing to let go of?
What stories are you using to protect yourself?